Zebra Crossing

Yesterday, I received an SMS (a text message) from the Rwandan National Police that read, “RNP reminds you that talking & texting on phone while driving is a traffic offence.  Disregarding zebra crossing also attracts punishment.”  One hour later, I received the same message translated into Kinyarwanda.  Oh, what a country I live in!

A few thoughts on this text message…

1. I live in a country that is so small that the national police force can send a mass text message to every single person in the country to pass on information, however impertinent.
2. The Rwandan National Police disseminated this message to an entire country of 10 million people where approximately 2 in every 100 people have cars.  Some people in remote little villages, who may never have seen a car, have cell phones and likely received this message.  I can only imagine their confusion.
3. I teach American English in a country that is dominated by British and African English.  Note that being on the phone whilst driving is a traffic offenCe.  Teaching English here is a constant battle.
4. You might think it humorous that “disregarding zebra crossing also attracts punishment.”  While, yes, I do live in the middle of Africa, no, that does NOT mean you need to watch out for crossing zebras (pronounced here as if it rhymed with Debra’s).  For my American readership out there, zebra crossings are pedestrian crosswalks.
5. I appreciate the RNP’s active voice in the second sentence, but the word choice could use some help.  Eliminating passive voice is one of the skills I plan to teach my tenth grade English class next week, so I’m glad to have some additional fodder for my lesson.
6. All in all, I appreciate the reminder that "talking & texting on phone while driving is" indeed dangerous.  I drive a Scooty Pep+ around this fine town, and while I am always very aware of my surroundings, I notice that, 9 times out of 10, the people who don’t notice me on the road are, indeed, on their cell phones.  (The other 1 out of 10 is ALWAYS a woman!)

Every day I have to chuckle at the goings-on in my world.  Whether it’s a mass text message from the police or a comment from a student (“I am shizzle to be a man one day,” said one of my street boys last week, bringing back a slang word from a lesson from months ago...), I never cease to be amazed at the never-ending amusement around me.  While I sometimes envy you people who live in a land where pretty much everyone speaks your language, I don’t pity you.  You are missing out on LOTS of laughs!

Mom Comes to Africa

Last Friday evening, I picked up my mom at the Kigali airport.  Yes, she did fly ALL THE WAY to Africa ALL BY HERSELF.  I told her she was a big girl, and she could do it, and she did!  I took her straight from the airport to the national stadium for a basketball game between the AND1 Mixtape Legends and the Rwanda Street Ballers.  It was quite entertaining and a nice transition to life in Africa, what with all the American basketball players in our midst…

Saturday, we went to African Bagel Company for the most delicious donuts in the world.  Or at least more delicious than most in America and the only ones I’ve really come across in Africa.  Mom got to meet lots of people I know and we sat and chatted for a few hours before we headed to town to watch the LEAF Intore Cultural Troupe practice dancing and drumming.  They all loved having Mama Teacha in their midst and she enjoyed meeting the loves of my life.  Then we went to my friend’s business’s launch and saw all of her lovely accessories on display before riding on the scooter through the mist to meet some other friends for dinner at Zen.  It’s dry season here in Rwanda, but you wouldn’t have known it on Saturday night.  We got stuck at Zen for 2 hours waiting for the rain to die down enough to scoot home where we arrived to a house with no power.  I assured Mom it’d be back before the morning, as it never goes out for more than a couple hours…

Sunday morning we woke up to no power.  I feared for the 5 pounds of cheddar cheese in the powerless refrigerator that had just arrived from America.  We walked to church (where she almost fell asleep numerous times thanks to a bit of jet lag and the help of a dreadfully boring sermon) and then walked to meet Emma at Magda Café for lunch.  They had no power either, but they were still functional and we felt better about our lack of power at home.  We walked down to check out Ivuka Arts Studio and looked at all of the art and watched some precious little children perform some traditional dances for us.  After our jaunt to Ivuka, we loaded up two backpacks of stuff and walked to Rugando.  First stop was Jessica’s house.  I was taking her all of my maternity-esque clothes, you know, all my flowy hippie stuff…  Then we went to the Bennett’s and had a delectable meal with some fabulous fellowship.  After dinner, we opened presents like it was Christmas and made the girls’ lives by giving them cheese packets from macaroni and cheese boxes.

Monday, I dropped Mom off at the Genocide Memorial and went to teach a couple of my tutees.  I picked her up after a long, emotional tour of the super sad memorial and we went to Afrika Bite for a nice African buffet lunch.  Rwandan food is by no means exciting, but there is nothing super unordinary that she had to choke down just to say she did…  After lunch, we headed to town to do a little shopping at the craft co-op and Nakumatt.  We went to dinner with two other mom/daughter duos (well they both had dads, too…) at New Cactus and then came home to rest up for our early morning wake up call.

Tuesday was devoted to Butare, the home of the National Museum.  We stopped the bus before it got to town so we could go to the museum.  Shortly after disembarking, I realized I left my phone on the bus.  Mom freaked out a little, but I was confident I would get it back.  This is Rwanda, after all.  We hopped on motos and rode back to the bus station.  They assured us the driver would shortly bring the phone and so we went back to the museum, which is only closed on 4 major national holidays…and that particular Tuesday.  All that travel for nothing!  Bummer.  We walked to town, did a little more handicraft shopping and got ice cream at Inzozi Nziza, which is always a pleasure.  We ate lunch then hopped back on the bus for a 2 hour ride back to Kigali.  Tuesday night we took some shoes and some Fantas to the LEAF boys’ house and they hung out with Teacha and Mama Teacha.  A few of them gave her speeches in English.  I think the most complimentary thing they said was that she was very special because she gave birth to me.  I agree.

Wednesday, I took Mom with me to teach some of my tutees and she got some good ol’ Korean hospitality.  After English lessons, we went to Shokola for some internetting.  Later we went to Khana Kazana (my favorite place in Rwanda) for some tasty Indian food and then over to Heaven for Godfrey’s solo art exhibition.  He had some pretty incredible stuff on display. 

Thursday, we hit up the market for a bit which gave Mom a real African experience.  I dropped off some fabric to get a dress and some pants made.  After the market, we went to Lalibela for Mom’s first Ethiopian meal ever.  Then we went to the Hotel Mille Collines for happy hour brochettes.

Friday, we went to Akagera National Park.  Our driver picked us up at 5:00am then went to pick up our travel companions at their house.  He promptly fell asleep at the first stoplight.  He drove rather erratically and soon informed us that he had picked people up at the airport at 2am before he came to get us at 5, so he hadn’t slept very much.  Awesome.  We made it to the park and our park guide took over the driving responsibilities and let the driver sleep.  We saw lots of animals.  Giraffes, zebra, waterbucks, birds, impala, various other breeds of antelope, warthogs, hippos, etc.  I’d seen them all before on safari in Tanzania, but I had never been to Akagera, so it was nice.

Saturday morning we woke up early and took the bus to Gisenyi.  We sat out on the sandy beach most of the day and then took the longest moto ride ever to Kigufi to sleep at this super cute little cozy guesthouse on the lake.  There were 2 other guests staying there that night, so the nuns set the dinner table for 4 and we shared dinner with two Polish girls.  Only in Africa…

Sunday morning we hopped back on an early bus to Musanze and went to Sonrise, my old stomping ground.  We were told chapel was at 8, but really it was at 9:30.  So we sat around reading our Kindles for a bit before church started.  This week’s service was far more entertaining than last week’s as the preacher jumped and danced and jumped and jumped and jumped.  We hung out with some of my special students and ate lunch with them before busing back to Kigali.

Monday and Tuesday were relatively uneventful.  I made Mom eat goat.  We went back to the market.  Then she packed up, and we headed back to the airport.  I didn’t take a single picture.  If you want proof of her visit, you’ll have to make her put hers on Facebook…

Watch This!

Another video for you.  I didn't make this one, but I am in it.  See if you can spot me!

Kigali International Community School

This is where I work.  Well, where I worked until last week and where I'll work again come August.

I'll update you on my summer as it unfurls.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I thought I'd change things up a little here on the ol' blog.  I realize I have been posting very irregularly, and it's because I tend to do the same things daily/weekly/monthly, and I've already written about all of them.  

As you may or may not know, my favorite thing in Rwanda is the LEAF Intore Cultural Troupe.  These boys are all genocide orphans who spent years living together in a parking lot before they were discovered and taught to drum and dance.  I spend a good 6 hours with them every week "teaching English."  Sometimes it's a formal grammar lesson on, say, the past progressive tense.  Sometimes it's a lesson on slang, fo shizzle.  Sometimes it's a pep talk about using money wisely:  food is more important than DVDs.  Sometimes it's a Bible Study.  Sometimes it's all of the above.  Here's a glimpse into the lives of the loves of my life:

Spring Break

Okay, it seems like all I ever do is travel about the world these days.  I promise I also teach school and tutor kids and hang out with street boys and friends of many nationalities.  It’s just the everyday things that I’ve already written about, so the abnormal things get first priority on the ol’ blog.  That being said…

Two weeks ago was Genocide Memorial Week here in Rwanda, and everything closed down for the week, including my school.  I took the 10 days off of school (“Spring Break”) as a chance to see a new part of the world.  I flew to Malta on Genocide Memorial Day.  Since KGL and MLA are both small airports, the flights were a bit roundabout.  I flew from Kigali to Entebbe, Uganda, to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to Rome, Italy, to Malta.  All in all it was 24 hours of travel (which is how long it takes me to get back to America from Rwanda), and while many people would be turned off by such ridiculous flight plans, I was just ready to see the world!

You may be asking, “Why Malta?”  Well, there is a missionary couple from my church back home who live there, so I had a place to stay and my own personal tour guides.  They were GREAT hosts!  Here they are at the Citadel on Gozo (the 2^nd largest of the Maltese Islands).

 The week was just what I needed.  Some time away. Some good food (including but not limited to Maltese rabbit, snails, tacos, cereal, French toast, and THE best thing I have ever tasted:  gnocchi with pistachio cream sauce). Some peace and quiet.  Some new sights and experiences.  Here are just a few of them.

Paul's Prison Cell

Donald's Taller Twin

Grand Harbor

St. John's Co Cathedral

Strawberry Festival

One of Many Wildflowers

Streets of Valletta

Malta from Mdina

Somewhere in Gozo

St. Paul's Island

Dingli Cliffs

Blue Grotto

Megalithic Ruins

The Gozo Countryside and Me

Azure Window

You may recognize some scenery from The Count of Monte Cristo, which is a fabulous movie for those of you who have not seen it.  I watched it one day and then saw all of the sights the next, which was pretty cool.

After 6 days of traveling all over Malta (which is only 217 square miles), I got back on a plane and flew for 24 more hours (this time through Cairo, Addis, and Entebbe) in time to catch up with lots of people over the weekend before heading back to school on Monday.

Now I’ve technically traveled on 5 continents.  Granted, I have much more traveling to do on each of them, but I’m getting there buhoro buhoro (slowly by slowly).  Only one more continent to go…  Who wants to go to Australia?! (And no, I’m not forgetting Antarctica.  I’m just not interested.  And no, Antarctica, it’s not you.  It’s me.)

Nairobi!

So a few weeks ago as I was perusing kigalilife (basically virtual classifieds), I came across an advertisement for a cheap flight deal to Nairobi for Valentine's Day.  My friend and fellow teacher, Elizabeth, was in the office when I made this (verbal) realization.  She said, "Let's go!" and I said, "Okay."

So the next day we ventured into town to buy the plane tickets at Rwandair.  It was not a completely smooth process (never has been), but we received an unimaginable showing of customer service when they told us "It is not possible" to purchase tickets at the advertised rate.  At which point I referred to the fact that Rwandair had given me trouble in the past.  Josephine asked for it, so I gave it to her.  All of the problems I've had with Rwandair.  And you know what happened?  She called her boss, and he gave us the tickets for the cheap price.  What a feat!  For those of you who have never tried to do any business in Rwanda, let it be known that the customer is NEVER right and unwritten terms and conditions exist EVERYWHERE.  Possible things are often deemed impossible, to which I want to tell them, "ALL things are possible."  But they won't hear it.  But that day, in that Rwandair office, the IMPOSSIBLE happened.  Rapture ensued and Elizabeth started counting down the days to our mini-vacation.

Last Thursday, I went to teach my boys English and then scooted home to pack and go to sleep.  Our flight left at 4am (EEK!) so my sleep was frequently interrupted, first by my alarm telling me to go to the taxi and then once I was in the airport by the man telling me to board the plane and on the airplane by my 4:15am full English breakfast then in the taxi by our arrival at our destination:  Milimani Backpacker's Hostel.

I'm not going to share with you a detailed description of each thing we did, but rather a quick rundown of activities we were able to participate in.

We went to Nakumatt where we saw Honey Bunches of Oats and cheddar cheese!

We went to the National Archives Museum and the Railway Museum!

We went to Yaya Center and Sarit Center and West Gate Mall milled around the malls for a bit!

I got my hair cut at a real salon!

We ate Lebanese food with my friend Kim who I met in Musanze last year!

We went to the Maasai market!

We went ice skating!

We ate ostrich meatballs, leg of lamb, lamb sausages, chicken legs, beef, turkey, crocodile, ox balls, camel, pork ribs, and pork sausages at Carnivore!

We bought books at multiple bookstores!

We rode a matatu from city center all the way to the end of its route in some village (accidentally) but then made it back to our destination (Village Market)!

We went to an organic food store!

We read books and drank fresh squeezed juice at a juice bar!

We went bowling!

We watched a movie in a movie theater!

I ate a grilled turkey, bacon, and cheddar sandwich and cheesecake at Java House!

We bought cereal and cheddar cheese and granola bars!

And we made it back to Kigali in one piece to teach our lovely children school yesterday (on International Women's Day).

Some Snippets

Jamie says I need a new blog post, (or technically, I guess she said, “Need new blog post.”)  I guess it is about time.  I have had an idea for a great blog post, but just haven’t gotten around to taking the perfect picture for it.  Therefore, I’ll just give you some snippets today.  Ten of them.

Snippet #1:  Independence is mine.  I got a scooter!  TVS Scooty Pep +.  And it’s awesome (when it doesn’t have a flat tire… which happened 4 times in the first 24 hours that I had it, but hasn’t happened again in the 4 weeks I’ve been driving it).  Moto drivers especially enjoy watching me scoot around town.  A white girl on a “motorcycle” is by no means normal.

Snippet #2:  I have been teaching SAT prep to one of my student’s sisters after school on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  I think if I took the SAT right now, I’d blow it out of the water.

Snippet #3:  I am learning how to salsa dance.  It’s no contra, but it’s my only option as a replacement here in Rwanda, and I’m having fun doing it!

Snippet #4:  We are doing a jump rope unit in PE, and it is a HUGE hit.  Thank you Katie for the jump ropes!  I also found out, via jump rope unit in PE, that Soulja Boy has a new hit/dance called “Crank Dat Jump Rope.”  Thank you, Soulja Boy, for making jump rope “cool!”

Snippet #5:  One of my teacher friends (and future dentist) bought all of “my boys” toothbrushes and we had a How To Brush Your Teeth lesson before English class on Thursdays.  They asked some really phenomenal questions.  Like, “I haven’t brushed my teeth in ten years, why should I do it now?” or “Ali can’t chew meat since he had those three teeth pulled, can he replace them with goat teeth?”  Awesome.

Snippet #6:  Yesterday I spent $82 and an hour of my time adding 24 pages to my passport.  Apparently, even things on “US soil” in Rwanda take forever and not just Rwandan things…

Snippet #7:  I had to get new pages in my passport because I’m going to Nairobi next weekend with another teacher friend.  She lived there for 6 months, so she’ll be an excellent tour guide.  We are counting down the days!  SIX!

Snippet #8:  I also needed new pages because I’m going to Malta for Spring Break (with all of the Libyan evacuees?)!  I’ve always wanted to see the Mediterranean Sea, and April 8 is the day my dreams will come true!

Snippet #9:  Thursday was “Formal Day” dress-up day at school, so I wore formal attire (with high heels) and stunned all of my students who have only ever seen me in my PE kit.  I received the following comments: “Wow, Ms. Simpson, do you ever really dress like this?  I thought you were a tomboy!”  and “Your dress is nasty and that make-up on your face, ugh!” and “Ms. Simpson, you have a zit.”  Out of the mouths of babes…

Snippet #10:  I shut them all up when I jump roped with a criss cross and a double jump in my stilettos.  So there.