Dumb and Dumber in Rwanda

So yesterday I took one of my students to Bourbon for coffee after school.  I drive a TVS Scooty Pep+ and I have a huge full-face helmet for me and a dainty little pink flowery one for my passengers.  Well, through a series of unfortunate events, my pink helmet ended up not being at school when I needed to give it to my student to ride safely to Bourbon.  I ended up giving her my full-face and using the decrepit blue helmet (with no face mask or chin strap) that’s been sitting around at school as long as I’ve worked there.  It was on this scooter ride that I reminisced back to 1994.

In 1994, something happened that changed the world forever.  Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels starred in the ever-popular film Dumb and Dumber.  As I drove down the road yesterday wearing my janky helmet, my student grasping my shoulders, I felt very much like Lloyd Christmas driving to Aspen.  Of course, I asked my passenger if she felt like Harry Dunne, but seeing as she was BORN in 1996, she had NO clue what I was referring to.

Later the same night, another Dumb and Dumber moment was lost on the people around me.  I was at “my boys” house teaching them English.  David’s smile warmed my heart.  His joy in the midst of extreme poverty and hardship never ceases to amaze me.  My smile broadened, however, when he said, and I kid you not, “we have no food.  We have no jobs.”  It was ALL I could do not to respond, “Our pets heads are falling off!”

These are not the only parallels one can draw between my life and Dumb and Dumber.  For example, there’s the obvious, “Why you going to the airport?  Flying somewhere?” as I fly somewhere on a fairly regular basis.  I can also relate to Lloyd when he says “I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.”  But, according to my calculations (which are likely less than accurate), I get more like 100 miles to the gallon on my “hog.”  (If you want to do the math, my tank holds 5 liters of petrol and I can drive 200 kilometers on one tank.)

Then there’s the aptly named pet store, “I Got Worms,” which is something I have been able to say on multiple occasions since moving to Rwanda.  Once I left English lessons a bit early to make it to the pharmacy before it closed.  I told the boys I needed to go because I had “snakes of the stomach” (as they call them).  One of them responded, “Everyone has snakes in their stomach!”  I informed him that, while that may be the case in his country, we westerners boast of worm-less stomachs most of the time…

The next parallel might only make sense to my fellow abazungu (white folk) in Rwanda, but the exchange between Lloyd and the elderly woman on the sidewalk applies to our lives here:

            Lloyd:  Excuse me, little old lady.  Do you have change for a dollar?

            Elderly woman:  Change?  No, I’m sorry, I don’t.

For, you see, finding change in this country (while it has been improving as of late) is NOT an easy task.  Moto drivers are infamous for not having the change you need and trying to get you to give up and let them “keep the change.” 

My last parallel might be a stretch.  Recall the last scene of the movie.  Harry gives a bus full of girls directions to the nearest town.  Harry then runs back and tells them different directions to the nearest town. This is how direction giving works in Rwanda.  You ask one person how to get to X, and he points you up the hill to the right.  When you get up the hill to the right, you ask another person how to get to X and he points you down the hill to the left where you find another person who points you straight ahead where you find another person, and I think you get the picture.  You never know quite where you’re going to be led.

So you may be wondering where I’m being led after this school year since my “commitment” ends May 29.  Well, if you’re wondering if I’ll come to the States for the summer and return to KICS next year, well, I’m “telling [you] there’s a chance!”

The DRC

Hello from the Democratic Republic of the Congo!  We have a week off from school, so I decided to visit my friends Lindsey and Blake in Lubumbashi, DRC.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed home-cooked meals, going to bed whenever I want and waking up whenever I want, as well.

Just a few observations/broad generalizations about the Congolese:

1. Congolese people are, in general, more attractive than Rwandan people. 

I’ve noticed myself stopping and staring at numerous people since I’ve arrived here.  There’s just something about the faces I’m seeing that is like nothing I’ve seen in Rwanda.

2. Congolese people are, in general, more talented than Rwandan people.

The music coming from the church around the corner on Sunday morning stunned me.  The melody, the harmony, the rhythm… These Congolese have skills.

3. Congolese people are, in general, more stylish than Rwandan people.

The style also reflects on the talent a bit.  The African fabrics here are beautiful, and the Congolese take full advantage of the endless possibilities of ways to create fashion masterpieces with them.  I’ve wanted to steal so many dresses right off of their owners, but that wouldn’t cut it with the modesty standards ‘round these parts.

[Side note:  I feel right at home in my matchy-matchy obsession here in the DRC.  If you have a yellow hat, yellow shirt, yellow belt, yellow bag, and yellow shoes, why not wear them all at the same time?]

Some observations/broad generalizations about the Congo:

1. DRC is far dirtier than Rwanda.

There is trash EVERYWHERE in DRC.  They also burn their trash, so it smells wretched much of the time.

2. DRC is far more corrupt than Rwanda.

While currently the police are forced to offer grace to passing vehicles for two months, typically cars are stopped many times a day to show their documents.  We’ve only been waved down once since I got here, but Blake and Lindsey are not looking forward to December when the grace period expires…

3. DRC is far hotter than Rwanda.

It started raining in Rwanda not long ago which drops the temperature significantly and makes me wish I had a jacket much of the time.  The rain hasn’t come to DRC yet, and it’s well above 90 degrees Fahrenheit everyday and barely gets below 70 degrees at night.  It’s also SUPER dry, and thus I have major crusty boogers in my nose constantly. 

Well, those are all of the observations I care to share at present.  Perhaps I’ll share some more with you before I leave… but no promises!